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Obsah fóra FanArt Vaše povídky Dokončené povídky Born to Die

Born to Die


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Příspěvek 16.4.2014 22:30:51
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Ahojte. Pred časom som sa zapojila do jednej poviedkovej sci-fi súťaže v anglickom jazyku a po vyhlásení výsledkov ju konečne môžem zverejniť. Nie je to žiadne veľdielo, angličtina sa dá prežiť a rozsah bol povolený len na 4 strany čo je žalostne málo, ale vtesnala som sa. Čím lepšiu predstavivosť máte, tým viac sa vám to bude páčiť.


Born to Die

Further than we can imagine, there lies another universe, with distint rules.


We.
We don't know good, we don't know evil. We don't know what is good, we don't know what is bad. We don't see white, black or yellow people. We don't know love, We don't know hate. We don't know happiness, we don't know sadness. We can't see beauty, we can't see ugliness. We sacrifice ourselves for the greater good. That is what makes us better than the humans, because they aren't capable of sacrificing anything, their time, wealth, love...
We are pure. We don't judge. Because it is right.
We are The Ones.


A medium sized planet. The non-illuminated side of planet isn't dark. It glows with very poor white or light turquoise light, almost unnoticeable from the space. The whole universe, not only this system is united by a web of fibres. The ones connecting planets among aren't glowing, so they remain unnoticeable. Those fibers are the conductor of life energy and they're visible only on the dark side of the planets. The organisms are receiving and giving the energy. When stepping on the ground anywhere, the fibres become visible because of the energy passing through. When toutching anything living, the fibres start glowing again. Every living creature uses a bit of the energy.
Also, the machines on the planet use the living energy, creating a perfect network. It is a very fragile cycle. It needs renewing very often and The Ones are the perfect renewing material. On the planet there is a civilization of humans – cities of many buildings. But one building is dominant. Different colours, size, shape and architecture. It is the most important one, because there are The Ones preparing for their part in the cycle. On the outside, their bodies are incredibly similar to the bodies of the humans outside, but on the inside they are completely different beings, not only physically but also mentally. They aren't born from their mother, they are created in glass pads in a long corridor. Every cycle, 73 The Ones are created.



There are 73 The Ones living in the building. Unlike the humans, eating, digesting and excreting, only supported by the living energy, The Ones live exclusively from the living energy. They don't sleep, they close their eyes and submerge into their subconscious. A web made of glowing fibres surrounds them. Their mind isn't full of human ideas, memories, feelings. Their mind is clear and ordered. When they are deep inside in their subconscious, they see the cycle, the meaning of it, the previous generations of The Ones and thanks to their sensibility they can feel every living thing connected the web of the living energy, which is basicaly feeling the universe itself. Each one of them knows what to do, it is written deep in them. They are walking the corridors, looking out of the building to the world of the humans, having a rest or submerged into their minds, awaiting the end of the cycle. They barely talk to each other, because everything is clear, nobody has any questions. There is a The One looking out of the window, a female, if we can say. An another The One walks quickly towards to her. She doesn't even have to look at him, because she can feel him and she instantly recognises him. He was created in the pad next to her. He was the first living thing she has ever felt and the same vice versa. He comes close to her and takes a deep breath.
“Let 's make the world full of The Ones!” he says. Kiva, the female The One looks at him.
“That is pure madness!” she says.
“Explain me why!” Tagarn says, the male The One.
“Because...” she stopped. “Because... It's because,” she's been finding an appropiate answer. “Because, it’s not what it’s meant to be...” she said but was left disappointed with her poor argument.
“Exactly!” We’re not supposed to do that. But think! It’s a great idea. The world will become pure.“
“Do you mean absolutely without the humans? “
“Yes,“ he whispered.
“But, we are dying for the humans, we would be dying for ourselves without them. It is selfish.”
“We make the cycle continue not for the humans, but for the whole universe. Humans are unnecessary. If they... die,” he said quietly, “the universe will make a replacement for them and the equilibrium will not be broken.
“But,” she tried to argue, although she knew deep inside he was right. But she has never heard anything that came so deep from her soul, so she’s been very confused.
“We’ll make it. We’ll live and only then we’ll die,” Tagarn said.
“No… No. But it’ not what it’s meant to be… I don’t know… I just can’t help myself. Well, I know we have to die,... but,... I want to live,... but I, I can’t. No!” she said with her voice breaking.
“I... will... die, ” she said, but she hasn’t convinced even herself. She has looked into Tagarn's eyes. There were so many things. Confusion, disappointment, desperation, sadness, a bit of hope and pain. Mainly, there was pain. She has sinked eyes and left.


An urge to live has been torturing... She would have died one way or another, but she could have lived between the creation and the death. She would have lived a useful life and moreover die of an honourable death. She didn’t know she could feel this sensation. The contrast between what she should do and be and what she could do and could be was torturing. She has come with a better life for herself.


Kiva is walking down the corridors, looking for one particular person. When she sees him, she aproaches him from back.
“But why?” she whispered.
“What?” he asked and turned around.
“Why can’t,” she took a deep breath. “Why can’t we change and, and admit to live?” she said and looked into his eyes. In that moment an incredible darkness has surrounded them. The flow of energy has weakened. Everybody has looked around. The cycle is ending. The begging of the end has just started.


The creation pads surrounded by glowing fibres have opened. The new The Ones, well aware of their destiny looked around. 73 people have appeared from the stairs at the end of the corridor. They walked proudly towards to their destiny. The new The Ones have been gazing at them. However, the old The Ones were looking towards the gate, impatiently awaiting their honourable end. The gate lead to a cocon ship, made of silver, shiny, liquid mercurium like, material. That material along with the bodies of The Ones has been the perfect sacrifice, letting the universe run for another cycle. The Ones have boarded the cocon ship and gave their last look to the beings on the planet. The gate has closed and the ship has departed. The ship has left the atmosphere of the planet and continued to the Centre, the very heart of the sector of the universe. It was a rich dense slowly pulsing purple cloud. The ship has slowed down and continued slowly as The Ones were taking their last breaths. Kiva was looking straight forward through the window at the Centre and there were thousands of thoughts running through her mind, not allowing her to enjoy the moment. She should be glad and satisfied, but she wasn't. Her eyes looked dead. Tagar has approached Kiva. She was aware of his presence, but she neither moved nor told anything.
“Cause you and I,“ he continued in their prematurely stopped conversation, „we were born to die.“ Kiva's eyes have suddenly filled with joy. She has looked at Tagar in a silent amazement. That was the answer she was looking for. She has looked at the window again. The cocon has started entering the cloud. It started vibrating and as soon as The Ones were vibrating too, the sector has been filled with a bright white light. That light, it was the purest form of energy, the energy itself. The glowing ship has entered the Centre. The Centre, pulsing slowly until now has changed it's colour from dark purple to bright burgundy red, started pulsing faster and faster and a pulse of pure energy has been emitted though the fibres, filling every living thing in the solar system.



A menom som sa inšpirovala z SGU :D

Každý, kto niekedy písal nejakú poviedku vie, že niekedy ani dvadsať strán nestačí (ja som napísala poviedku o 150 stranách a stále mám pocit, že som nepovedala všetko). Z tejto poviedky by sa dal urobiť aj celovečerný film.

Příspěvek 16.4.2014 22:44:09
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Och, clenka starej gardy autorov na tomto fore nas po dlhych rokoch znovu navstivila a hned so skvelou poviedkou anglictina je sice trochu neobvykla na tomto fore ale prezit sa to da.

Takze moje hodnotenie je 10 bodov z 10... :yahoo:
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Příspěvek 16.4.2014 22:53:55
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:D Ďakujem! Stará garda autorov - ani mi nehovor, je to večnosť, čo som napísala SGAM a teraz, keď si ju čítam ma silno chytá nostalgia na... na všetko. Na časy, keď som to písala, na časy keď aspoň SGU bývalo a tak...
Ďakujem ešte raz

Příspěvek 16.4.2014 23:09:38
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Jj, kde su tie casy...

Ty si pisala meteoru, ja zasa Ascanis, mackenzie last ancient a ostatni...

Boze!!! Ved ty este patris medzi sheppofilky...

Ach jaj, kde su tie casy... :yeah:
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Příspěvek 19.4.2014 10:40:16
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:hmmm: Ahoj dievča, som rád, že si sa tu ukázala, ale nemôžem hodnotiť, lebo tú Arabčinu, alebo čo to je, neprečítam. :wink: :lol:
:bye:

Příspěvek 02.5.2014 17:32:13
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V spomínanej súťaži som sa neumiestnila, no dnes ma čakalo príjemné prekvapenie - prišiel mi zborník najlepších prác a v kategórii, do ktorej som patrila boli tri víťazné poviedky a ešte jedna - moja (čo asi znamená, že som bola štvrtá). :yahoo:

Příspěvek 03.5.2014 08:32:15
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štvrtá zo štyroch? :lol:
Najlepší štvornohý priateľ človeka je posteľ...

Příspěvek 03.5.2014 16:07:51
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Nie, zo sedemnástich. :D Blbo som to napísala. Z každej kategórie tam boli tri víťazné a 1-4 nevíťazných a v tej mojej kategórii boli celkovo štyri - tri víťazné a moja. Kedyže som štvrtá zo štyroch, tak sa tým nechválim :rflmao: .

Příspěvek 03.5.2014 21:29:09
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Obkecat sa to da vselijako... :wink:
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Příspěvek 27.7.2014 09:34:34
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Vsetko najlepsie k narodeninam!
:kapela: :drink2:
Najlepší štvornohý priateľ človeka je posteľ...

Příspěvek 27.7.2015 21:14:15
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Keďže vidím, že autorka tu bola naposledy pred nejakými dvoma týždňami, tak je zrejmé, že sa tu ešte občas zdržiava (je milé vidieť tu niekoho aj zo "starej gardy" :yahoo: ).

Preto jej v nádeji, že si to čoskoro prečíta, prajem všetko najlepšie k narodeninám!!! :kapela:
Najlepší štvornohý priateľ človeka je posteľ...

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